The Cat Incident
by Molten-Ashes
Summary: "Just mech up Jazz, it's an organic. It can't hurt you that badly for Primus' sake!"


Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers!

Please R&R!

(Crack. Just a silly oneshot so I can get back in the 'zone' as it were. Enjoy!)

* * *

"Jazz, did you just scream like a girl?" Prowl asked from where he was standing watching the saboteur trying to climb the tree to get away from the household animal that would otherwise be referred to as a cat.

The feline in question, ginger with light brown tiger stripes, had drawn deep sensitive grooves in the Porsche's faceplates with its claws when it had reacted badly to Jazz poking his helm into Carly's bedroom window when they were looking for the girl to request a trip to the Store for some air fresheners, which, as it turned out, were a bit like catnip for Transformers.

"I did not! I screamed like a grown woman!" the black and white counterpart to the tactician whimpered back as the ginger feline sat meowing up at the third in command, clearly bewildered as to why the giant metal alien was clinging to its favourite lounging spot on a branch. "Get it away from me Prowl! They're all in league with Ravage!"

"Jazz, you do realise that was just the Twins throwing the creatures at you when you weren't looking?" the Datsun asked, raking a servo down his faceplate in annoyance, trying to be the sensible one as Carly sat on the grass and laughed at the ridiculous looking alien currently hissing with an acidic growl down at the creature so much smaller than the Transformer. "Anyway, Mac Muffin is actually… um…" Prowl paused as he looked up the term normally used for such bright orange cats that rivalled the ARK's brightness on the internet, "a cute ginger kitten."

"You're not helping me get air back into my lungs, Prowl." Carly snickered, tears streaking her face, barely holding it together as she heard the stoic Second in Command utter the cat's name and the words 'cute' and 'kitten', it just sounded so ridiculous coming from that low, monotone voice. "So how are we going to get Jazz down? I don't really want to have news crews crowding up the lawn again. As brilliant as it is that you and Jazz are normally the 'Lighter Side' of the news broadcast, it is quite embarrassing for the Autobots if you reveal that one of your Officers has an irrational fear of cats thanks to the Twins' pranks."

"Primus forbid it if Megatron comes up with his monthly diabolical plan revolving around the household kitten." The Datsun snorted, striding forward and lifting Mac Muffin by the scruff to optics level, the bright orange cat purring as Prowl balanced the feline on his shoulder plating while he tried to scale the impressively sized tree and get to his friend.

"You two look so ridiculous!" Carly broke down cackling at them as the Praxian mech tried to shove Jazz off his branch to the ground, the saboteur ending up looking like a sloth on the branch as both the Prosche and Datsun argued about the cat precariously balancing on the SIC's shoulder purring affectionately at the Tactician.

"Just mech up Jazz, it's an organic. It can't hurt you that badly for Primus' sake!" the Praxian hissed disdainfully, clinging to the trunk of the tree and giving Jazz's midsection a good kick, the saboteur flopping onto the ground with an earth shaking thud that actually managed to bounce Carly a little.

The tree which had been bent almost double with both mech's weight, twanged back upright, throwing Prowl's processors for a loop as he was nearly tossed out of the tree, barely managing to hang onto the trunk.

Mac Muffin wasn't nearly so lucky, the ginger cat being flung high into the air at an incredible height and distance far into the horizon from Prowl's shoulder with a loud echoing yowl.

"Oops." Jazz cringed as Carly stood looking horrified at the small speck that was her neighbour's cat that she had been 'animal sitting' while they were on holiday.

"We're in so much slag if Optimus hears about this." Prowl groaned stumbling away from the tree with a dazed shake of his scrambled helm from the sudden movement of the newly christened 'Slingshot Tree' and haphazardly patting the distraught looking human on the shoulder with a finger, "If it's any consolation, Carly, he now knows what it is like to fly."

_**===Later On That Evening= **_

_**===ARK=Rec-Room=== **_

"And now, on the Lighter Side of the News, Bob and Katy Robertson were mystified today after their cat, Mac Muffin mysteriously landed in their pool while they were vacationing two states over visiting relatives. The ginger cat inexplicably dropped out of the sky and onto Mrs. Robertson while she was on her lilo. The owners contacted their 'cat sitter' that requested to remain anonymous, who had lost track of the cat only twenty minutes prior, meaning that the cat had somehow managed to travel well over several hundred miles in the air without the aid of wings or an airplane in twenty minutes. The experts that we consulted were also stumped…"

Their faceplates flushing in baffling embarrassment as the report continued, Prowl and Jazz respectfully requested that Optimus change the channel…


End file.
